


before the otherness came

by crownedcirce



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Hurt, Letters, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining, blow job mention, but nothing is happy, i'm a scorpio and i'm sad what can i say, yeh sirius might be a little pathetic but i love him okay? okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 20:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18038612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownedcirce/pseuds/crownedcirce
Summary: Dear Moony,I wrote you but you haven’t responded.





	before the otherness came

**Author's Note:**

> listen, i know letters have been overdone in this fandom. but, i was writing a different wolfstar fic and this little drabble wouldn't leave me alone, it had to be done. 
> 
> the title of this fic came from ["as it was" by hozier.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7q-4mfl_s4)  
> comments keep me alive and thriving. 
> 
> come yell at me on [tumblr](https://punktsuki.tumblr.com/)

Thursday July 20, 2000

Dear Moony, 

 

I wrote you but you haven’t responded, obviously. I also sent two letters to you this Autumn. Perhaps though, this owl is unreliable. 

 

It is possible, after all.

 

I made tea this morning for my girlfriend and I. The colour reminded me of your hair though, and I remembered the precise way that you used to make yours. You’d make it the same way for me. I can’t seem to get it right no matter how hard I try, even now. Would you tell me? 

 

It’s gone cold now. I’ve spent too much time inside my own head this morning. I tend to do this, you know how I am. 

 

I’m going to be a father soon. Like you, I suppose. I’m terrified. We’re thinking about naming him Harry, What do you think? 

 

How is Nymphadora? And Teddy, how old is he now? It’s been too long, Moony. Too many years. 

 

I should get married. I should ask her. Really settle, you know? Like you have. Sometimes though, when I get close to making that decision, all I can think about is you. I remember the way your hair felt under my fingertips, the way my name sounded on your tongue. I remember your smile, and the smirk you often reserved just for me. 

 

I remember the way your lips felt, Moony. The way your body moved. I remember the way your breath hitched right before you came, your hands gripping my hair so tight it burned. I remember sacrificing my air for your pleasure. It was worth it, though. For me, it was always worth it.

 

Remember studying late? And not studying at all? 

 

Remember creeping out of my bed in the dark, early hours of the morning before the others were awake? Remember sneaking out of our respective four posters to walk the muddy grounds together during cold nights?

 

Now, I sometimes wonder why I get out of bed at all. 

 

It’s tragic of me, I know, to still think of you. I can’t help but wonder some days if I still cross your mind from time to time. If you have received any of my previous letters though, I suppose I don’t. I still wish that we could go back, Moons. Before we became strangers, before the otherness came. 

 

I see your eyes in the moon some nights. But, she’s not as bright or even half as beautiful as I know you to be. 

 

This morning, the rain has be incessant. It’s been clouding up my window and my mind. It’s all I can see. I know there’s a full moon tonight. I know, it’s something you dread but it’s really the only thing you’ve left me with. I’d like the sky to clear just so I can get a glimpse. I’d feel a little closer to you. 

 

I’ve stuck an old photograph of you up on my wall though, I hope that’s alright. It helps with days like today when I need you most. Sometimes, it reminds me that things aren’t so bad. 

 

Anyway, please write back if this letter finds you. 

 

I do hope you’re well.

 

Yours always,

Padfoot. 


End file.
